LET’S PLAY CONTEST! The Incredible Hulk DVD!
Okay, you guys seemed to enjoy the contest we had a few weeks ago for a copy of the Forgetting Sarah Marshall DVD, so you’ll surely FLIP for this one, which actually has something to do with comics. Which is what we sell. Not DVD’s though, but the production company was kind enough to send us a free copy of the new Incredible Hulk DVD, which we have kindly decided to give to one of you.
But which one of you? Well, therein lies a fight! Tell us, in less than 100 or so words, who wins the oft-discussed hypothetical fight between the Hulk and Superman. Two twists: the fight takes place ON THE MOON (!!!) and has to be hand-to-hand. Flying, giant jumping, et cetera okay, but no freeze breath, heat vision, etc. Non-violent abilities (super-hearing) are also okay. This is just to keep Superman from vaporizing Hulk in outer space over and over.
Spin your (short!) tale in the comments section below. Remember: BE NICE! No rudeness, no swearing, et cetera. You know how we roll. Okay, let the fight…
…begin!
Superman gets behind Hulk and puts him in a sleeper hold. As Hulk’s heart rate and pulse slow, he begins to turn back into Dr. Banner. Superman realizes he can’t make it back to the earth so he assaults the Watchers home and the duo is forceably booted toward the Inhuman’s Blue Area. After a misadventure involving three issues, a cross-over, a plot by Maximus to use the Hulk to take control of the Inhuman’s home, the Watcher gets fed up with all the noise and sends Hulk back to earth and Superman back to the Post-Crisis, Earth 1 to live happily ever after. (100)
Make the DVD payable to Mansell in Distress…
Ha! Ha! Nice Andy! I want to actually see that one in print! (But we all know Howard the Duck would show up and Quack-FU’em both ta death!!!!)
Superman.
Wait, that’s less than 100 words, right? Hold on, let me count again. Yup.
Superman wins because he’s fast in addition to being incredibly strong. However, since this battle takes place on the moon, it will likely be obliterated in the process giving the Earth a ring (or several) like Saturn. This causes a disruption in the tides and and other such moon-influenced type things which dooms us all. So, while the Hulk may have lost the battle, all of humanity has paid the price of this pointless violent battle between two major super-powers.
Violence is not the answer. 🙂
The fight can be summed up thusly: HULK. SMASH. Superman’s speed might give him the edge to start with, pummeling Hulk supersonically, but that would just make Hulk mad. We know that outrageously strong opponents can whip the Man of Steel (see Doomsday), so this is a no-brainer. After Supes enrages Hulk to WWH or Onslaught levels, Hulk literally beats the life out of The Last Son of Krypton, then leaps back to Earth with enough force to push the moon into a larger orbit, wrecking the Earth’s tides in the process. Oops. So, to sum up, HULK SMASH. (99)
First, the Hulk smashes Superman’s puny scissors with rock. Then, guessing that the Hulk will want to smash with rock again, Superman throws paper and secures a second round win. Hulk catches Superman off guard in the final round with his scissors cutting Superman’s paper.
“Hulk trick Superman. Hulk win!”
Superman is shocked at his loss. All he can utter in his defeat is “Best 3 out of 5?”
I already won the Sarah Marshall DVD, but I Figure I may as well give it a shot.
The Hulk and Superman begin on the moon…Hulk holding his breath as the Kryptonian tries to wrangle him in. Superman takes his lumps, and is knocked into a huge crater in the moon. Fed up, he uses his super-speed to ram hulk, shoulders square into his ribs! Hulks air supply is now deplenished, and he begins to suck vaccuum. Superman grabs the gasping brute, and dashes to Earth, where he lands holding the 98 lb Dr. Bruce Banner…and wondering what sort of man, or monster he has saved.
I already have the Blu-Ray, but what the heck —
—
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk gets madder. Hulk gets stronger.
Hulk punches Supes. Supes punches Hulk.
Hulk KO’s Supes.
Hulk wins.
—
Travis W. Howard